The Joke Thread

[Karl Henning]

Not a joke per se, but I found this incidence quite funny: I watch weekly Youtube streams by an American living in Finland trying (desperately!) to learn Finnish. At some point he was talking about dyed hair and someone told him to check out on Wikipedia one famous Finnish person known for her violet hair. While on Wikipedia, he started to press the "A random article" link and after a few articles he ended up to a Wikipedia page about Kastanjaperäkipuaja (the Chestnut-rumped woodcreeper), which is an interesting name for a bird species. He lets his browser to translate the Finnish bird-name into English and the result is "Chestnut anal pain reliever."   

No wonder they say learning Finnish is pain in the ass!

(* chortle *)

[Karl Henning]

Seen on Threads:

In England, ''booster shot'' is spelled ''borcester shot''

[DaveF]

Seen on Threads:

In England, ''booster shot'' is spelled ''borcester shot''

Ah, yes, pronounced the same as that place Worcester in... Massachusetts.

[Pohjolas Daughter]

Seen on Threads:

In England, ''booster shot'' is spelled ''borcester shot''

Ah, yes, pronounced the same as that place Worcester in... Massachusetts.

  Found this online:  https://barrypopik.com/blog/in_massachusetts_booster_shot

And what about wor-ster-sheer-shire sauce? 🧐

PD

[Karl Henning]

Seen on Threads:

A turkey is about to cross the road. A chicken appears and says, "don't do it buddy, you'll never hear the end of it."

[Pohjolas Daughter]

Seen on Threads:

A turkey is about to cross the road. A chicken appears and says, "don't do it buddy, you'll never hear the end of it."

   

Thank you for that.  I needed a good laugh. 

PD

[Pohjolas Daughter]

To all of our science experts/aficionados here:  Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?  It had great food, but no atmosphere.

PD

[Bachtoven]

Today was a terrible day: I found a gray pubic hair. Unfortunately, it was in my hamburger.

[Irons]

Half man half bison = Buffalo Bill.

Half man half goat = Billy the Kid.

[Pohjolas Daughter]

Half man half bison = Buffalo Bill.

Half man half goat = Billy the Kid.

Oh, booooooo! lol 

PD

[Iota]

The joke that was named the funniest at the Edinburgh Fringe this year, was this by Mark Simmons ...

"I was going to sail around the globe in the world's smallest ship but I bottled it."

But I thought he told an even funnier one when being interviewed about his win afterwards ..

"I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers, can't understand it, I always gave 110%."

[geralmar]

I was introduced to a famous microbiologist.  He was much larger than I expected.

[Karl Henning]

Seen on Threads:

Restaurant bathrooms are really, really dangerous.

So many of my 1st dates have gone to use them and vanished.

[Pohjolas Daughter]

This is for you (and you know who you are):



PD

EDIT:  @Cato  And I know.  I know.   The grammar is incorrect! ;-)

[Karl Henning]

Seen on Threads 

If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they'd be powerful alloys.

Steel itself being an alloy, my enjoyment of this quip is perhaps chemically mixed.

[Pohjolas Daughter]

Seen on Threads

If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they'd be powerful alloys.

Steel itself being an alloy, my enjoyment of this quip is perhaps chemically mixed.

Ow, ow, ow!

PD

[Karl Henning]

Seen on Threads:

Two tourists driving through Wales stop at Llanfairpwellgwyngogogoch for lunch. One of the tourists asked the waitress "Before we order could you please settle an argument for us & please pronounce where we are but very slowly", the girl slowly says "Buur Guur Kinng."

[Cato]

From an American TV Show c. 50 years ago: The Carol Burnett Show.


Vickie Lawrence, Dick Van Dyke, Carol Burnett, and Tim Conway!


https://www.facebook.com/watch?v=719728333661829

[Karl Henning]

From an American TV Show c. 50 years ago: The Carol Burnett Show.


Vickie Lawrence, Dick Van Dyke, Carol Burnett, and Tim Conway!


https://www.facebook.com/watch?v=719728333661829

What a delight!

[Karl Henning]

Seen on Threads:

I once asked a girl to marry me.

She said, "No."

I said, "Is there someone else?"

She said, "There's gotta be!"