Missing Members

[hopefullytrusting]

I have to agree with Premont in that the report function should be used sparingly and only in cases of clearly identifiable ad hominem. Reporting each and every post one finds offensive on a general, not personal, level would result in unnecessarily burdening the mods and creating a climate of perpetual confusion and resentment because what might be offensive for some people might be innocuous to others.

What utter tripe.

The posts I've reported have been antisemitic, homophobic, racist, etc. I, of course, defer to the mod's judgement, but you are underestimating the shiftiness of what gets posted here.

Things are better than they were, but there is still a long way to go.

[Le Buisson Ardent]

What utter tripe.

The posts I've reported have been antisemitic, homophobic, racist, etc. I, of course, defer to the mod's judgement, but you are underestimating the shiftiness of what gets posted here.

Things are better than they were, but there is still a long way to go.

One could say this post of yours isn't necessarily value-added. I mean you did just call @prémont's post "utter rubbish" after all.

Do I report your post because I don't like what you wrote or do I ignore it? I mean you do have an argumentative tone in this post I believe.

But, guess what, I'm not worried about it, because people say things like this all of the time and I take no offense to it, because if they truly got out-of-line, then they should be called out on it and rightfully so, but one doesn't actually know what is going to offend or cause one to report a message, so I don't think @prémont is wrong in saying that this function can get abused.

[Madiel]

Reporting a post does nothing more than bring it to the attention of the moderators.

If the moderators think somebody is overly trigger happy, they can tell that person.

We've just had a moderator say the system is not being abused. And because only moderators see reports, everybody else is just speculating without evidence.

[Karl Henning]

Reporting a post does nothing more than bring it to the attention of the moderators.

If the moderators think somebody is overly trigger happy, they can tell that person.

We've just had a moderator say the system is not being abused. And because only moderators see reports, everybody else is just speculating without evidence.

Exactly. 

[prémont]

As a moderator, I can say that reporting posts is one of the best things a poster can do. Arguments tend to develop VERY QUICKLY and hurt both sides so fast. It is easy for us mods not to see something until it is too late. If we caught the Debussy thread early, for example, PD might still be here.

It seems that Premont is concerned that some posters might be abusing the feature, wanting the mods to be moral police for them. That is not only not the case, but usually, posters say nothing even if they are upset by the direction a thread has gone.

I recognize that I previously believed reporting was frequently misused. But now that I understand it is not, I feel more comfortable.

[Karl Henning]

I recognize that I previously believed reporting was frequently misused. But now that I understand it is not, I feel more comfortable.

Spoken like the gentleman you are, friend!

[AnotherSpin]

What utter tripe.

The posts I've reported have been antisemitic, homophobic, racist, etc. I, of course, defer to the mod's judgement, but you are underestimating the shiftiness of what gets posted here.

Things are better than they were, but there is still a long way to go.

I don't recall seeing posts on this forum that could be considered antisemitic, homophobic, or racist. Either I'm missing the most interesting parts, or my understanding of such things differs from yours  .

[Brian]

I don't recall seeing posts on this forum that could be considered antisemitic, homophobic, or racist. Either I'm missing the most interesting parts, or my understanding of such things differs from yours  .

We delete them after reporting.

[Henk]

I think all of us here are guilty of saying hurtful things unknowingly (or perhaps knowingly, too), but the difference here is at least I apologized.

@Brian and @Karl Henning have both done some things to me that hurt and disappointed me, but did either of them apologize to me? Absolutely not.

There seems to be an air of it's okay for some members to say whatever the hell they want and they get a free pass, but the minute I make one rude comment, it's all hell breaks loose. Do any of you know how exhausting it is to feel like you're walking on eggshells?

Anyway, PD's leaving was her choice. She chose not to reach out to me (not that she is by any means required to do so) and didn't bother to make it known to me that she didn't like what I wrote to her. As I told @Henk, in a PM, the one part of her personality that I didn't like was the one acting like an online mother. So out of frustration, I made that post to her. It just felt like she was wagging her finger at me for making an off-handed joke to another member, which, let's face it, was incredibly mild and inoffensive.

Hopefully, she'll come back and all will be forgiven and we can get back to conversing about music.

I myself haven't experienced any clue of PD acting like a 'online mother'. I don't share in this judgement. I think it's hyperbole. Maybe caring and that's not a bad trait, mostly female associated. 'Online mother' rather sounds ridiculous to me.

[foxandpeng]

I've nothing meaningful to contribute, beyond expressing my sadness at PD's departure.

[Wanderer]

I hope she'll reconsider and return.

[Lisztianwagner]

I'm very sorry PD left, but, as other members have already said, I hope she'll decide to come back sooner or later.

[Mandryka]

I think of PD every time I take the seeds out of a butternut squash - she was the one who gave me the excellent idea to use an ice cream scoop for this horrid task! 

[Karl Henning]

the one part of her personality that I didn't like was the one acting like an online mother.

In the heart of a post in which you rationalize your foul behavior, you give us this snide sexist remark. Once again, you don't "apologize" because you understand that what you did was wrong and hurtful, you're just unhappy that you are known for your inexcusable foul words. 

[Karl Henning]

Classic Mirror Image: I'm sorry she left, but the problem was how she behaves. And "one rude comment" is rich!!

[Karl Henning]

I refuse, by a complicit silence, to normalize the bullying and self-exculpatory sexism.

[DavidW]

This thread is temporarily locked.

[DavidW]

PD's abrupt departure is shocking and sad. But at this point, further discussion is becoming unproductive. Let's, please leave it at that and leave the thread for discussing other members. And hope that PD returns one day. 

[Le Buisson Ardent]

I wonder what has happened to @North Star? I haven't seen Karlo on GMG in quite some time. He's my Sibelius and Janáček buddy. Now this is a member whose contributions I miss and the same with @Dancing Divertimentian.

[Harry]

 member I miss on GMG is mc ukrneal. It is frustrating not to know why people go away. In this case he offered no explanation, he was suddenly  gone.